The last few weeks have been some of the roughest I have experienced so far. I was at a play date about 2 1/2 weeks ago and I slipped on her basement stairs landing on my bottom and then bouncing a few steps. The pain was like nothing I have ever felt before and took the breath out of me. It was at the end of the playdate any way so I gathered up the kids and left not fully realizing how bad it was. Well, as soon as I tried to lift Leah into the car and get myself in the car I had incredible pain. I was in tears the whole way home, to which Logan replied, "Why did you say you were ok?"
I powered through and got the kids home and fed lunch, Logan offered to make them sandwiches, he is such an awesome kid! Then I got him to school (again getting in and out of the car was excruciating). Logan said, "When I get home from school, I will carry Leah for you". I then got Leah down for a nap and spent a couple hours laying on ice. I chose not to go to the doctor because I know that even if it was fractured or bruised the treatment is the same. Tailbone injuries are just very painful and can last 4-8 weeks (sometimes longer), so there is nothing to do but ice, aleve and rest. Unfortunately, rest has been very hard. When you are a mom of 4 and spend 12 hours of your day alone with your kids, there isn't any time for rest. Well, that's not true, we have spent many days laying on the couch watching movies to rest, but I still have to feed them and take them places, etc…
The next morning, my mom, hearing I got hurt, texted me and asked if I wanted her to come spend the day and help since her schools were out for snow. She was a huge help taking Logan to and from school and the kids to and from church class and lifting Leah up into her crib for me. I was so bad at that point Evan had to help me off the toilet and Colin was helping me get up from the couch. Luckily, since then, I can do those things independently, but the pain is constant. I can walk normally, so no one would know how much pain I am in, but it is still very much there. The worst is bending to pick something up, lifting anything, stairs, sitting on a couch and getting up and down. I also am really struggling to get any sleep. I never realized how many times I have to bend during the day, but now that I can't do it, I am watching the house get messier and messier and that is adding to my stress. Every time I try to do some cleaning I flare it up.
I now have much sympathy for people with back pain and with chronic pain, because it is really rough. Moms don't have time for this. I have dishes that need to be washed constantly, kids to shuffle places, meals to make, constant cleaning to do, laundry every day, and yet all these things are so painful to do. I think on top of the pain the cold weather, the lack of sleep and the many hours Dennis is gone are all really causing me to have the blues lately. I am grateful for his job, but being alone with the kids from the time we wake up till almost 7 pm every day is exhausting, especially now being in pain.
I'm really struggling lately also to figure out how to make everything work. I am noticing that everyone here in Nova that has a lot of kids (and lets face some who only have 1-2 kids too) either has a Nanny, Au Pair or a Grandparent that helps them out. For the most part, except for the very rare occasion or one of us is out of town, it is just Dennis and I on our own. Well, lets face it, most of the time it is just me on my own, but Dennis does help a lot on the weekends.
Anyway, as Spring comes we will have 3 kids in sports, not sure how I am going to get them all to and from practices and then games on the Saturdays. Then come fall I am planning to go back to work part time and I am stressing about how to make that work too. Part of the reason I stopped working is that it was so stressful to have to call in when kids were sick or when school is out. I always hated to have to take the day off. Then there is Summer break….we can't afford to pay for 4 kids summer camp. So, I am not sure what we are going to do, maybe try to find a part time Nanny for the summers? The costs of things here in Nova are really getting to me to. Day care is so expensive and next year we have to pay for both Logan and Leah, since I don't have anyone to watch Leah and Logan's Kindergarten is only half day here.
So, between sports and school costs and daycare costs and house stuff, I feel like we are throwing our money away these days. I am trying to really cut back where I can, but it is a struggle with a big family living here. So, that is another reason I didn't go to the doctor, I don't want to pay for an X-ray that isn't going to change anything.
Oh well, I could go on and on…but point is, things have been rough. I am hoping this heals up quick so I can keep up with all the busy times coming up once sports start back up…
(oh and once I can sit a bit longer, I will update my blog, I have posts written, just need to add the pictures to them)
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